Boredom Busters: The Fun Way To Fly

            Fact: Airplane rides are boring. Comparable to watching grass grow or paint dry, riding on planes and in cars are two of the most coma-inducing periods of time spent, or rather, wasted. I wish I could just apparate everywhere – shout out to my boy Harry Potter.

            Unfortunately, as I strive to be an avid traveller, flight is something I need to do in order to move quickly and efficiently from one location to the next, no matter how terrifying it may be.

So I have compiled a short and sweet list of things to do on an airplane to avoid boredom for as long as possible. And yes, I have done them.

Note: these suggestions are for commercial flights only. Most of them would be rendered useless on a private flight because they require other people. However, if I ever ride in a private plane, I will devise a list of boredom busters for that, as well.

Let’s start off with what not to do, no matter how appealing…

1.     Do not watch Pitch Perfect. Or Hairspray. Or Glee, High School Musical, Camp Rock, etc. Anything that couples a sick beat or a well-known song with smooth dance moves and at least one attractive person is a no –no for flights. It took me about fifteen minutes to realize that I was dancing and singing along to the Barden Bella’s’ finale song, fifteen very long minutes for the passengers to my left and my right, I’m sure.  

2.     Do not lean your seat all the way back and then proceed to toss back and forth. Dude, I’m trying to write a blog post. Your continual seat movement is turning it into a blof piostt. I’m about to start pulling out what is left of your old guy hair if you don’t calm yourself.

3.     Do not think about water, waterfalls, lakes, rivers, streams, creeks, rain, or anything liquid-based. You will have to pee, and you’re likely going to have to climb over at least one (but probably two) people to use the bathroom. You might even have to wait in line, and as soon as you stand, you know that you’ll have to pee worse. Basically, if you don’t want to do your pee dance in front of an entire flight full of people that will judge you, then no thinking about liquid. You’re welcome.

4.     Do not take your freaking shoes off. Seriously. Put them on. Now. Ya nasty (Raven-Simone voice).

5.     Do not engage in conversation with anyone that is not your immediate family (sometimes not even then). With nowhere to go for hours, you’ll be trapped and unable to enjoy the fun things that you’re about to discover. Then your butt will get numb, and you’ll hate your flight even more. Trust me. Just say no, and put your ear buds in.

And thing things you should definitely do….

1.     Stare at people until they stare back. Then look away quickly. As soon as they go back to what they were doing, start staring again.

2.     Play rock paper scissors. Find somebody sitting a short distance away from you. Put your hand in the air and make the rock-paper-scissors motion. If they don’t put their hands up to play, they probably lead boring lives, and you didn’t want to play with them anyway. Pick someone else. This is also adaptable to traffic jams.

3.     Do art. Tear apart you plastic cup, your plastic pretzel bag, you paper towel. Make flowers, stars, or origami if you’re talented. Make fake origami if you’re just “creative”.

4.     Read your neighbor’s book/emails. Lady to my right, how’s 50 Shades of Gray? Lady to my left, you would so lose your job if your boss new about that.

5.     Look for dust. It’s kind of like I-spy except instead of playing against other people, you play against the airplane.

6.     List countries of the world starting with A and ending with Z. Good luck with X. (This is me setting you up for failure.)

7.     Play solitaire. It’s free and also addicting. Your mission: beat my score. I’m at 49 seconds because I’m obviously a solitaire badass… and also I’m deprived of human interaction.

8.     Play temple run…that high score actually belongs to my friend Kyle. I’m pretty sure he sold his soul for his temple run skills, so good luck.

Bonus! Temple Run is an effective way to pretend to be working out. “Oh, yea, man, I ran for like 3 hours today, bro. It was totally sick.”

9.     Choreograph a dance. Here’s the catch: it has to be the length of a whole song, and you can’t leave your seat. Please send me the video.

10. Create a Lost scenario: If the plane plummeted to the ground and landed on an island that nobody can find, who would survive the initial crash? Which people on the plane would be the ones to thrive? Who wouldn’t stand a chance? If the airplane were to crash, where would be the best place to be for optimal survival? How would the plane crash? Now that you’re thinking about it, how do airplanes not crash? It seems scientifically impossible…No. Never mind. This was a bad idea. Don’t do this one.

You’re welcome. Also, send me the evidence. And if you get kicked off the flight, it wasn’t my fault.

XOXO

Safe Travels!

Cats in a Cradle, A Wee Bit O' Irish, and My First Advice

Never in my life have I seen so many people dawning Patriots, Red Sox, Bruins, Celtics, and Revolution gear; I can see the ocean from my window; Fenway is within walking distance.

Nobody pinch me.

Baseball caps at the Boston Bombing memorial. 

            This morning, after a brief, slightly delusional awakening – I couldn’t remember where I was and it was terrifying – I made my way down Newbury Street to a two-story bookstore-slash-café called Trident Booksellers and Café. I sipped a soup-bowl sized Chai latte and munched on perfectly over medium eggs while the Disney movie Up played on the screen above the tables. If you need to find me, I’ll be back there tomorrow morning.

Fabulous, fresh chai latte at Trident Booksellers and Cafe. 

Before finding Trident, I was momentarily overwhelmed by the sheer size of Boston; it’s definitely no Boise, Idaho. If you, my lovely reader, find yourself in this slightly terrifying situation in any place bigger than what you’re used to, ask somebody who lives there.

In this case, I asked one of the gentlemen employed by my hotel. He was very nice, and he gave me an honest opinion regarding prices and distance instead of forcing me into the super expensive, high-end restaurant adjacent to the hotel.

I think much of his genuine demeanor derived from my attitude toward him. I treated him just as I would treat anybody else, unlike many of the others at the hotel whose haughty airs got the better of them. If you treat people kindly, particularly those who are employed to help or provide a service, and you will often receive the same attitude in reciprocation. 

            For example, my mother and I found a licensed street vendor and his wife selling Boston memorabilia. The couple originated from Portugal, and they spoke lovely – albeit heavy – accented English. They were incredibly helpful and ready to pull out different sizes and colors for us to examine. I even learned the meaning of obrigada: thank you in Portuguese, with an “a” on the end because I am female.

Small experiences like these often coalesce to define the trip as whole, with little regard to the big events or planned situations, interestingly enough.

However, some big events will doubtless add to the experience, especially the accidentally big events. I had the opportunity to meet Boston’s Police Commissioner Ed Davis and the Taoiseach (pronounced tee-shock, head of the government or prime minister of Ireland) Enda Kenny today because I decided to visit the memorial of the Boston Bombing on a whim.

Taioseach Kenny (left) and Commissioner Davis (right)

Memorabilia at the site of the Boston Bombing...a beautiful and moving expression of homage paid to those who lost everything. 

 Create daily plans, but make them loosely with some room for alteration. Planning is smart, especially for travelers from small places who want to see as much of the city as possible, but I suggest making them knowing that sometimes, plans can change for the better. A stringent, immoveable itinerary can make for an incredibly dull trip, while an aberration can be life altering.

            I was buzzing for a while after my meeting (for you lovely internet readers who don’t know me, I have a passion for politics, so this chance encounter was a pinnacle of my existence), so I attempted to shake off these jitters with the lengthy walk to the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum.

            The museum, created in the early 1900s, is Isabella’s personal collection of mostly Renaissance art displayed in her Venetian Palace style gallery. My self-guided audio tour coupled with my student ID made the museum an educational, exciting, and cheap way to spend the afternoon.

            Finally, my mother and I meandered to a place called Upper Crust Pizzeria for dinner. If I’m not at Trident, I’ll be at Upper Crust chowing down. The thin crust complemented the fresh ingredients, and the people were incredibly helpful and excellent at their jobs.

I was going to publish a photograph of the half State House  - half White Spinach pizza, but obviously my stomach got the better of me before I had to chance to snap a shot. Take this as evidence that it was delicious, and Upper Crust is not to be missed. 

Tomorrow is the zenith of existence. Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but it is the day I visit Fenway.

Unfortunately, I won’t have the opportunity to watch Jacoby Ellsbury dominate a game (and subsequently ask him to please marry me), but I do get to experience the oldest baseball stadium still in use…. A.K.A. Heaven.

            Look for that post tomorrow, as I will also document my very possibly chaotic navigation of public transportation.

XOXO

Safe travels!

As a side note, these are cats in a cradle. Literally.. And no, I’m not judging the lady walking around with her cats, because this could totally be me one day. Cats need fresh air, too.

These Scottish Folds (the same breed of cat as Taylor Swift's Meredith; they can cost up to $1,000) were secured into their stroller by leashes. To keep them from running? To keep people from cat-napping them? Who knows.. 

Either way, these are a couple of happy cats.